Nothing works well when you are in the biggest slump.
However, I tried something on Aug. 8.
So, what did I learn from that trial?
There were two reasons why I explained my complicated feelings 'in English' as Rach Goes 0808.
First, I was afraid it might sound so emotional if I posted it in Japanese. That's why I chose to use a logical language, English, in order to sound as logically as possible.
Second, I wanted to express myself honestly. On the other hand, I did NOT want ALL of my readers to know my depression.
If I had posted the same contents of Rach Goes 0808 in Japanese, almost all readers, who are undoubtedly Japanese, could have recognized at a glance that I felt really sad and depressed.
I didn't want to spread my sorrow all over the place unnecessarily.
That sort of ambivalence drove me to write the previous article in English.
After reading a lot of encouraging comments on the article, I found that those who posted those comments were able to fully understand my complicated feelings, a mixture of affection and hatred.
I didn't expect that result, because I knew the article was really confusing and hard to follow.
When it comes to comments, I was really glad to receive Japanese comments as well as English ones.
Since I am aware of how much time it takes to write something in English, I'd like to thank YOU for posting English comments.
And I'd also like to thank YOU for posting Japanese comments after reading my English article.
I said something in English, and you replied to it in Japanese so naturally. It's like we talk with each other without noticing what kind of language we use.
This is the very 'communication', isn't it?
Several years ago, I wanted to try to express myself and to convey my feelings to others in another language except Japanese. That's why I started to learn English. My trial reminded me of my original purpose. That was worth trying.
At the same time, I succeeded in keeping many people away from finding the top-secret information that carefree Rach could be down once in a while.
I'm sure those who didn't read Rach Goes 0808 don't know the fact that I was seriously blue then, because I've been as happy and joyous as ever in every other article except it.
Now, let's face the future.
What's my top priority of the moment?
As an author of this blog, the top priority is to maintain this blog steadily and regularly.
I become vaguely aware that every article of the Friends series is all the same and that not a few readers are fed up with my routine.
I am not saying keeping this series is my mission or vocation, but I would not be Rach any more if I stopped writing this Friends series.
This series is where I can behave in character without restraint, like my sanctuary.
I recognize the limitations of this 'translation-oriented approach', though.
As one of Japanese English learners, the top priority is to read more English, especially sophisticated one, and to write more English, more OFTEN.
I realize that it is almost worthless and meaningless to write something in English just once in a month or so.
I wish I could write English every day. Easy to say, hard to do. Still, I believe I'll be able to get to write English spontaneously in the near future.
If I really want to improve my English, I should put 'writing English more often' before anything else.
I suspect that I just enjoy talking pleasantly about English-related stuff with my friends.
I sometimes feel like asking myself,
"You always say you really want to improve your English. Do you seriously mean it, huh?"
From now, I won't stick to my own 'stupid' resolution that I should post English articles regularly on my blog.
I will write English article whenever I want. That's all.
Don't you think it has taken too much time to reach this easy and reasonable conclusion?
Human feelings sometimes get you going, and sometimes prevent you from going. A double-edged sword, so to speak.
P.S. Today is the last day of summer vacation. At last!
Wish me luck on my upcoming term!
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I DO love the style of your blog all the same. I pick up this and that, such as interesting usage, grammar stuff, good motivation and the last but not the least, I simply enjoy talking to you.
Anyway, good for you!
After all tomorrow is another day.
Could be. lol
Thanks for your encouragement! You always cheer me up when I feel down.
It is hardly necessary to mention, but... I DO love talking to you! I guess you've already realized my feelings for you. (LOL)
"Tomorrow is another day." I really like this phrase.
When I say this out loud, I feel as if I were strong and beautiful as Vivien Leigh. (???)
...And I'll think of some way to get 'my passion' back.
I'm so glad you're here.
元気になられたみたいでよかったです。
ご自分のブログですもの、好きなように好きなときに好きなことをお書きになればいいと思います。
フレンズの解説も英語の記事もいつもとっても楽しみに読んでいます。和英ともに流れるような文章、ユーモアがあって情報が豊富で。私にとっては元気の種です。
これからも楽しみにしていますね！
ご心配をおかけしました（笑）。おかげさまで元気になりました。
自分のブログですから、自分の好きなようにしたらそれでいいのに、自分でいったん決めたことを変えるのがいやなタイプなんですよね。
で、自分で自分の首を絞めちゃってる、と（笑）。
でも、自分の思うことをタラタラ書いてみて、いろんなことが吹っ切れました。あまり決めたことには拘らないで、その時その時の気分で気楽にやっていきたいと思っています。
こちらこそ、いつもそうやって励まして下さってありがとうございます。YNさんの優しい言葉にいつも救われています。
これからもよろしくお願いしますね！